rain

I have nothing to say. The thoughts are here. The pain is here x a thousand. Studio 60 is keeping my heart from falling out and White Oleander will get me to sleep... and all I want is rain. Rain to pour. Rain to pour pour pour. Sam loved the rain. Overcast days with a sharp cool breeze were his favorite. I love them  now too. Not because he did but because they  accurately reflect the poison within...I love an overcast day and with all that is in me to want something other than  Sam... I want the rain. The rain with the soft rolling thunder... because the raucous thunderclaps proceeded by migraine-inducing lightening is not the storm I wish for. No. Just the downpour. Just the rain. Just the water. Just for one day can the earth do the crying... and can that day be tomorrow. I hate this life... and in these moment before sleep I want nothing of it.