I've lost another three pounds today. It feels so good. The starving hurts but by God does it work.

I started today in such a bad place. Woke up from dreams about Sam. Woke up crying. Then I get online to get some thinspo and I was even starting to get sad about thinspo because one of the girls I'm chatting with has a boyfriend of two years and it made me miss Sam even more. I vented to her a bit but it just made me even more sad... we were so good together. And he's just fine. He is doing so good without me. It's better to starve because my body can only focus on so much pain at one time. I love him still, and I am desperately hoping with all my heart that he will come back...

"My wife" the beautifully thin and all around beautiful, Ms. Natalie Portman.