Finally worked up the courage to listen to Death Cab For Cutie...this is fucking brutal... it was our favorite band together and we saw them live together May 1, 2009 at Austin City Music Hall...my heart is bleeding all over my insides...
Church group was good. I think I'm getting somewhere... I think I will be in a good place. I will be. I am not there... but I hope that a good place for me exists at the end of this... I feel like there is goodness at the end of this tunnel, even if I can't see it. I hope Sam comes back... I'm not gonna lie. I never denied God... I've doubted through this... I've questioned... but I haven't denied Him. At least I can take comfort in that. *huff* It's so hard to take comfort in that. One of the church group leaders (there's two - "Mindy" and "Cass") started crying about what me and another girl were saying. She so deeply cares and wants to help us...
Mindy and Cass are both so tiny. So thin. Both married. *huff* And they're good women. I want to be that...
The more I think about it, the more moving to L.A. seems like the right idea. Not soon. I need my new car first... but these are things that I genuinely feel like are good things for me that God does not shake his head in disagreement with...They feel right. And not in my own emotion but in what God wants for me.
Time for bed soon, I'm starving :)
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