michelle

So I just got done hanging out with Michelle and Bekah and Hannah. That's a lot of estrogen. Anyhow, so there were some really gross southern white trash type dudes there. Well one dude. But yeah, so we were drinking. Last night I stayed up till about 6am, watching Veronica Mars and searching for Kristen Bell thinspo. Michelle says that 30-40% of my infatuation with MGG is because he looks like Sam... like the spitting fucking image. It's truly uncanny.  I let it slip to Michelle that I have a tumblr. :/ I know her. She will be looking for it now which will ultimately lead her to this blog... she also knows that  Michelle would be her pseudonym. So yeah... I am stupid. Also, I think I have a thing for model... I think Aston Kutcher is gorgeous. Sam used to model. AND MGG used to model. I confessed to Michelle that I think I set the bar too high with Sam... because he is gorgeous (to all who see him) and he's sweet and sensitive... and wonderful. I am so in love with him still. It's so hard to keep it together. I have more scripts btw. I got them filled today. I have 300mg of ambien. I might use it... I still want to do die... especially right now... but if I take it all right now... Idk. They won't give it to me any more... I'd get to die though. I've had a lot to  drink...I want to see him though. I am gonna save as much of my ambien as possible. If having insomnia keeps the possibility of killing myself peacefully, I am going to keep it... Like I said... no matter what... suicide is always an option. I want fast food. I'm gonna  put on some pants and get  some. The meal me and Sam would always eat. I will fast tomorrow. I hate my life. I hate it so fucking much. Parents are asleep. I, gonna get some terrible food. I wish I could die right now. No thinspo tonight. I'm gonna be fat  instead. I hate myself. I hate this stupid fucking life. I am not good enough to log into my pro ana site. I'm sorry girls. I am going to fail you tonight.

 

the one where he has the apple... looks most like Sam