4 elle bees

Woke up this morning 4lbs lighter. Awesome. :D I want to be more excited but I have a long way to go. Still, I'm glad and motivated. The job hunt continues. So does the starvation. 12oz of black coffee + stevia in hand. Let's do this.

get me back to who i am supposed to be

So! Two cups of very strong coffee + stevia. A banana. An apple. Celery and some hummus. That's all for today. Let's see where this gets me.

Having trouble getting a new job. I have an interview tomorrow. Hope it works out so I can work out some sort of routine. Hopefully it is a 10-5 type job. That would be awesome. Time to work out before and after. I hope hope hope. By the looks of things, I am going to have to work through all the holidays. Which is fine because all the major ones, the ones that matter most to me are already over. It is significantly easier to have this eating disorder living on my own (with roommates who have jobs). I miss my mom. A lot. Also being poor is helping. It's nice to say "I can't afford it." And the junk my roomies eat is super healthy bc they are hippies. I would love to tell them that I am Vegan so it is even easier. *sigh* I'm not gonna lie. A good deal of me moving was to have this eating disorder out in the open. I do have family dinners every night, but only till my roomies get on their feet. I've gotten so fat that the hunger pains are quite painful. The coffee makes them go away for hours though. My skinny jeans are painful, ALL of my jeans are painful. I'm ready for this. So ready.

new country

I just moved to a new part of the country. I'm at my HW. FML. Running shoes should come in tomorrow. Here's hoping.