So my five mile run turned into a  four mile walk since my mom decided to go with me. I noticed how old she  is getting. She used to run every morning at like five  in the morning and run like four miles... now she  can barely walk four without being exhausted. Weird. She also told me about some guy she was with before my dad and it made her cry. I don't want that. How can Sam be okay with that? How can he just think it's okay to marry someone else and give a  small part of his heart to me forever? (He said I'd always have a small part of his heart) I hate it. I won't 'live like that. I won't let him  either. Killing myself makes too  much sense. I still need to make enough money to afford the scripts but once I get  them... I will be in a happy place. I feel like life has enough time to give Sam back to me  before I get enough money. I fear it won't  happen. I  pray it does. I hope. I hope. But I have a plan in case is doesn't. I wonder if after I die if anyone will put the pieces of the puzzle together and realize that I wrote this blog... probably not. The pieces of the puzzle are too well hidden. And I doubt anyone would care enough.
I've only had half  a cup of 100% juice (thank you Dying to be Thin for that amazing advice that has taken me so far) and diluted it with water so my juice lasts longer and I intake less calories. I plan on working out more today. Hopefully about an hour an half on my stomach (gross) and the rest of my  limbs. Today's thinspiration: