progress

Alright... well I'm starving but I'm terrified to eat. I know I have all day tomorrow to burn calories but I'm scared. I had an apple and a sweet  pepper with a slice of mozzarella cheese. I feel grossily guilty about it. I am sipping on diet coke right now and working through my thinspo journal. I bought some walden farms pasta sauce and some miracle noodles. Shit is expensive. But calorie free so I won't feel so afraid to eat. I hate that I am this hungry (two days now) and still this fat. I've noticed something; when I don't eat at all, I go to bed with a sense of not truly doing anything throughout the day. Even yesterday, when I bought and installed new curtains. Stupid. I need to get over that. It's probably a huge reason why I eat so much... it gives me a sense of accomplishment for my day... weird.