I like the idea of us. For a minute...I miss the feel of us. For seconds... I remember what it was like and I miss the togetherness. I seek comfort in the cold now. In the quiet. I'm on the the apex, about to fall on one of these sides and neither seems right. The darkness climbs up toward me. Stretching it's icicle fingers.
... sorry thought I had a poem in me... definitely didn't.
After four days of liquids I ate today and I feel like shit. Back to liquid and starving tomorrow. And a hellish workout if I can get my fat ass up at a decent time tomorrow. I got S T O N E D last night. Couldn't sleep. Thought weed would help. It didn't. Well... it did just ... I was so giggly and high that I forgot to fall asleep hah. Anyway, I just took a crapload of fiber to flush out the bullshit food I ate. I hung out with Beth. It's typical for me to eat around Beth even though she is the hotter one who men like. Fuck. I hate myself. Chase has been hangin out with everyone from work but me... makes me feel like ... inadequate. Not good enough. I had a good time with Beth tonight but I am really fucking over everything right now. I think I am going to regret moving back "home" by this time next year. I'm getting really fucking old.
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