Tomorrow I am getting an early start and going to purchase some 100% juice. I will be on a fast for four days. I am very excited!! I haven't had a proper fast in months, and my jeans are starting to show it.
Hannah got arrested for stealing and I had to bail her out of jail. It was a close call. I almost got caught. I got out faster than she did though, good thing too. Going to jail is the last goddamed thing that I need. I am done stealing. Not worth it.
I'm still sleeping with Jake.
I hope to lose 10 lbs by the end of this week. Losing 20 by Halloween would be superb, but I know it would be quite difficult. I have so many jeans that are too small for my fat gut lard disgusting ass. I cringe when I look in the mirror. A proper fast is just the thing I need!
One of the people from group gave me a book about eating disorders. It triggered me. I binged. I cried. I almost cut again but my old cuts haven't healed and I was afraid. My last ones were bad. Deep. Purple and puffy. I punched them so hard. I need to renew my scripts and see a doctor to get more. I am afraid what will happen if I go off completely.
I'm so fucked up.
Tomorrow is a new day! A day of fasting! I'm excited!!
1 comment:
from the uk just checking you're ok.
don't give up on life, stay strong
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