the last time

I just ate my last fast food meal ever. It was pretty gross. I feel like I need to purge. I'm not going too. Well, I'm going to do my best not to. This horrible feeling is so not worth it. It's been a really good birthday. I am really fat. Tomorrow I will be working out twice and keeping to fruit and juice only. I've let myself slip. Went shopping today. Refuse to buy new pants. I have so many cute jeans that don't fit because I've become too fat. The only vice I am allowing myself is alcohol. Life is too stupid without it. No bread. No dairy. Time to start loving myself again. Loving the hunger pains. Loving the sweet pain of becoming thin and small. Time to do it right.