willow is dead

I've gotten fat... ter. I am nothing special. Keep getting rejected by anyone I've had feelings for. Might start taking drugs to cut the weight. Not sure yet. Next week I have my photoshoot... so I definitely won't be eating this week. Found my ana girls. Getting back to being smart. Getting back to being thin. I hate my life. The thoughts are back. The depression is ten times worse than before... well... ten times worse than it was last week. I need my meds. Priority number one, get meds. Number too, stop being fat. Number three, get a new fucking job. Everyone I like there got fired. Fuck that place. It's not worth the bullshit money I don't even make. It's get thin time. I hope I can shed ten before the photoshoot.